I cried...

I cried just now... The feeling just came while I was listening to 许哲佩's 白色婚礼. It wasn't because of the song that I cried. Somehow I just thought of my grandma again. I was, in some ways, reminded by myself that she had actually left us beginning of this year, at the age of 71, and was reminiscing the past... Events that seemed to happen just yesterday... I can remember clearly what happened at her wake... The rituals, the people who attended... And I was wondering why my siblings isn't feeling much like I do. Or I didn't get to visually see their sadness?

Again I felt so much indebted to her... How she used to bring me up... And I get to stay at her apartment and woke up early in the morning 'cos I heard her in the kitchen boiling water, cleaning up... The past... Never been able to get a chance to feel that again...

I guess I've yet to fully let go of everything; still holding on to some unhappiness which is already a fact, but I don't really wish to accept... Or did I just visited the room that I lived then?

Please come back to present.