Went to Swissôtel to celebrate Merlin and Darrens' 21st birthday. Hmm... It's nice to catch up with the rest. Knowing what they are doing now and seeing them all fine. Seems that the only one who's not alright is me.
I don't know why, but I suspect I'm having depression or some kind of stress illness. I'm sure. I was totally lost on my way to Swissôtel. Frantic. Panic. Don't know what to do. Though not as serious as seen on TV. Luckily. Still, I believe I have some problem.
However, I managed to control my mind/emotions/behaviour after I had a lavander spa in the bath tub. Somehow, I managed to tell myself to throw away all the burden I had in me. I was totally lost then. Don't know what to do. My mind was totally out of my control. So many things just went in and out and back again over and over again in my head. I really thought I was going crazy. Maybe it's a choice of whether I wanna let go and be less bothered by the events that happened, happening and going to happen in the future.
Anyway, I shall keep an eye on myself perhaps. And maybe I might wanna seek professional consultation to better understand my condition.
The stay in the hotel was great though. They were happily chatting, playing around while I was tackling my mental problem. I was very quiet then and trying to avoid them 'cos I don't wish to blow up/shout or do whatever silly things in their birthday gathering. I'll be such a wet blanket then. Yet, I have to control my mental blockage. Was in such a contradiction somehow...
I told Merlin I might be having depression. and she thought I was joking and tried to comfort me in her way. Of course it was useless. 'Cos obviously no one understands me or the situation I was in then. She's those happy-go-lucky type of person whom I would wanna be like. She's such a good friend of mine. Knowing of my problem, she tried to treat me better with the tidbits I wanna buy and even bought a bottle of lavander aromatherapy massage essential oil for me, 'cos I said I wanna do a spa in the tub. These are small little things which I would appreciate a friend could offer when I needed most. I'm glad that she's doing well now and living happily, working in a hotel as what she wants. Looking more and more gorgious too!
-Deleted- I don't know what I'm trying to drive at... I'm tired... People, please don't tag for this post... Please!
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