Losing faith?

I don't know why. But is it my fate to encounter all these? It's kinda time and again thingy which I'm sick of. Perhaps that's the reason why... to so many things... I've lose interest... I fail to see 'future' in these things... I get to see the dark sides...

I'm not very clever. I'm not very smart. Why let me see all these? I'm not being negative, okay? I see the positive sides too. But there are so many more negative sides than the positive ones. Why? I wish to be much more positive too. Really. But, I kinda lose faith in these people... I mean people living on this Earth. Serious. I don't like fake smiles. I don't like fake conversations. If you have to tell me that I've spitted something like rice, saliva, whatever onto you, just tell me. I'll apologise. People, let's be honest. If you don't like something, say out. Don't fake that you like it and accept it, unwillingly.

I don't wish to lose faith in people but time and again why people that I've treated well and honest to them shows me that I should lose faith. I'm too weak? Mentally? Emotionally? I should know the rules of living? Face this harsh world, harsh environments upfront? Is that what you all mean? Don't be abnormal, go with the flow. Don't think you're unique when you're behaving this way. You're just weird. A weirdo!

I really don't know. Maybe the one who should change is me? Accommodate to this place where you're living (which is something I can't really accept). The fact that I'm honest and true and direct perhaps have brought me all these unhappiness. Maybe I should learn... to be quiet? Don't speak my mind. I mean I can be honest but I keep it to myself? I don't know. I really don't. Enlightenment, please?