I dreamt of my grandmother last night. I dreamt that she has fully recovered from her illness and is able to live like she did last time. I was so happy!
However, it was only a dream. Reality is, it is very hard for her to return back to the healthy, normal state that she used to be. Almost impossible. (I'm cherishing hope. That's why I wrote "almost".) She is bed-ridden now and is having senile. Sad to say, I guess she has forgotten about me. She only remember my grandfather. Isn't it sad?
She used to bring me to Chinatown to shop for things when I was very young. She'd always remember my birthday and all other Chinese festivals where she'd give my siblings and I red packets. When we used to visit her at her apartment, she'd cook lots of dishes to serve us. It's the effort she made that makes me cherish her so much.
The second last time when I visited her at a private hospital, she was still okay. She was still concious of what she was doing but was feeling quite depressed. That was during my training period. A few weeks ago, when I visited her at her house, she aged so much and she looked so weak. I didn't expect to she her in this state.
I wasn't able to accompany her when she needed me to be there for her. What she needed was just some care and concern. When she feels love, she'll naturally cherish hope and think positively. Which I think would help to improve her condition. However, all these didn't happen. I'd blame it partly on myself and some other people which I wouldn't want to mention here. Haiz... Life is really unpredictable.
Anyway, may things get better... I'm tired to write anymore...
Life passes by in an instant, which is why it is so important for us to keep striving and challenging ourselves.
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